Excuse me, but I think your dress is ringing

I have an odd fascination with strange news. I think it's due to the fact that more often than not, it's more positive than regular news. I was browsing through the odd news section of yahoo today and discovered this.

It looks like Maria Sharapova is talking on her cell phone and showing off a normal (albeit, ugly) dress. Right? Wrong. What the tennis champ is modeling is quite possibly the dumbest, most useless thing I have ever encountered. Essentially, it is a cell phone dress.  The idea is that the cell phone would connect to the dress using bluetooth (it's almost better than those bluetooth headsets that look like oversized beetles. Almost. Okay, it's not). When the dress wearer/cell phone user gets a call, the scaly things on the side of the dress light up. 

While I am mostly against this looming trend (I predict that the rate of seizures will increase significantly), I do see one positive. It would definitely help pinpoint the culprit of cell phone calls that interrupt lecture. I am so ADD that I get distracted by a piece of dust, so you can imagine what a cell phone call does to me. If it's a song that I know (even if I am not fond of the song), it will be stuck in my head the rest of class, making me miss the lecture and I fail the class. Not cool. I almost wish that these dresses would be mandatory in class and the guilty party should be forced to wear this.

Things that should never be (re)produced

1) Cheetos Chap Stick:I may be slightly bias due to the fact that I only eat Cheetos once in a blue moon, but I do not want my lips tasting or smelling like Cheetos all day. I suppose if your name is Chester and  you have a thing for crunchy, artificially flavored cheese snacks, it may be a different story. Worse than you having to deal with the smell or taste would be your significant other having to endure it. I would not want to kiss a guy who has Cheeto lips. It's almost as bad as kissing an ashtray.

2) Life Saver Soda: I like Life Savers. The hard candy (and sometimes the gummy). I don't want to drink my candy. Sorry. It could make for a good chaser, but I would rather not have this product reproduced to find out. I'll stick to soda or Hawaiian Punch. Thanks.

3) Colgate Kitchen Entrees: I shouldn't even have to explain why this was a bad idea. On the toothpaste container it says to call the Poison Control Center if you ingest. Who thought that voluntarily eating it was a good idea? I don't know, but I will give $1000 to anyone who finds out and punches him/her.

4) NASCAR Romantic Novels: Nothing is romantic about NASCAR. Nothing. Unless you are a 60-year-old from Arkansas who is married to her cousin.

Roscoe Jenkins- Master Chef

Tonight for staff we decided to have a potluck grill out. Everyone brought their own meat to be grilled, as well as one dish to share with everyone. I was super excited because I found this recipe that I have wanted to try for awhile and I decided to make it for the grillout. I am not much of a cook so I was nervous about it tasting good, but everyone loved it, so I was excited and very proud of myself. I may have to consider a career change. Only not really. It's fairly simple (if I can make it, anyone can). Check out the pictures below along with the recipe. Try it and take your taste buds for a ride!

*Le Ingredients: Olive oil, Mayo, Parmesan Cheese, Adobo Seasoning (or whatever kind of seasoning you like for chicken, but I highly recommend Adobo (you can find it in the Hispanic food aisle)), Chicken the recipe called for 4 chicken breasts (I used chicken tenders because they were on sale), Broccoli Florets, Pepper, Salt, Noodles (bow tie or penne work best), and Garlic (not seasoning)*

* Awful picture, but it's the noodles and broccoli cooking. The noodles are supposed to be al dente, which takes about 10 minutes. The last few minutes, add the broccoli. If it's frozen broccoli florets, it should cook a little longer. I should add that this is supposed to be done in a dutch oven (not that kind of dutch oven), but I didn't have one. I just used a large pot and it worked fine. I used a 12 oz box of noodles and about 3 cups of broccoli, which is what the recipe called for. Using more or less is up to you. After draining, return to the pan*

* The chicken cooking. The recipe called for 4 chicken breasts. Like I said, I used chicken tenders because they were on sale so I pretty much just eyed it. Again, it's up to you if you want to add more or less. Coat the chicken in the Adobo seasoning, salt and pepper. Before adding the chicken to the pan, heat 2 tablespoons olive oil then add about 2 gloves of minced garlic. Heat for about 30 seconds and then add the chicken. Cook chicken all the way through. Dice it up into bite size pieces. This can be done before cooking the chicken. It doesn't really matter.*

* With the heat on low, mix in the chicken, about 1/4-1/2 cup of mayo (again, adding more or less depending on your taste), salt and pepper into the pot with the noodles and broccoli. Heat until it's heated through*

*Put in a mix bowl, top with shredded Parmesan cheese and enjoy! :) *

*Some people need a beer when they cook. I need Diet Coke*