Taking the crazy cat lady to a whole different level

The other day a friend of mine was telling me about how her professor wears some sort of weird device in class. At first she said that she thought it was a microphone, but once class started her professor's voice wasn't amplified at all. At least not to her (more to come on that comment in a moment). I told her that maybe it was an insulin pump for diabetes or something and we kind of left it at that. Later she told me that one of her classmates has a hearing aid (she knows that I am kind of nerdy when it comes to the topic of the ear. I like knowing about things that not a lot of other people know much about. It makes me feel smart). Having remembered earlier in the conversation about the mysterious device, I asked her what the hearing aid looked like. If it just attached on the ear, then it was a normal, behind the ear hearing aid. If there was a weird little attachment that connected to his head, then it was a cochlear implant. If it was a cochlear implant, then the device was probably a microphone so that her classmate could hear what the professor was saying. Turns out, it was a cochlear implant.

That's not the point of this post. It's just a back story that I felt should be told to explain why I was looking up cochlear implants on google images. I wanted to find one to show her just to make sure that that's what it was, even though I was fairly certain. I typed "cochlear implant" into the google search engine and found this. Frightening, right? It baffles me, still. I have absolutely no idea why someone would have a cochlear implant for a cat. Maybe to do research, but even then it seems insane. It has to be some sort of animal cruelty. If nothing else because it just looks ridiculous.

"Shut the f*** up!"...

Those are the exact words that I heard from my boss one day last week. I wasn't in any sort of trouble. I had done nothing wrong. In fact, it was she who had made the mistake. I merely pointed out the mistake to her, therefore avoiding any embarrassment that may have been bestowed about my boss or the university.

It all started one early morning in the University Center. There were early arrivals coming that weekend so we had to stuff envelopes with information that they would need for move in. The stacks of paper seemed endless and I couldn't help but feel bad for the 500 trees that were killed. We need to figure out a better system, but I am not sure how that is possible. Anyway, back to the story. As it was pretty early in the morning, I forget exactly why we were just sitting around. We may have just been waiting for people or for the rest of the things that needed to go in the envelopes, but I decided to pick up a conduct guide that we give all the students that live in the residence halls (yes, residence halls. Dorm is not considered a positive term). It's just a little booklet that has rules and policies for the residence hall. Most students probably don't read it and it's really fun to point out the rule in the book when they do break it. Sorry, I keep getting off on tangents. So, I was sitting there reading it and I closed the book and looked at the front cover. Something seemed off, but I wasn't sure what it was. Then I realized it. It had said, "Uinversity of Wisconsin". In case you didn't catch it, university was spelled. u-i-n-v-e-r-s-i-t-y. Read it again. UINVERSITY. 

I couldn't believe it. I was dumbfounded. How a university spelled university wrong baffled me. Of course, me being me, I cracked up. I showed my staff and then decided that I should probably tell my supervisor. When I went back to her office she was on the phone. The director of res life, the big wig, happened to be walking by and I showed her. "OH NO! Go tell Betty*!" Betty* is another one of my supervisors, presumedly in charge of the booklets. I showed it to her and she looked stunned. That's when she said it.  "Shut the f*** up!" I never thought I would hear those words come out of her mouth. Not that she is a goody too shoes or anything, but that's not something that you expect to hear from your boss. It was hilarious, needless to say and it pretty much made my day. 

I did feel bad though. All the books had to get reprinted and we probably killed another couple hundred trees doing so. I told her that if worse came to worse and we didn't get all the books on time, it wouldn't be a big deal. The early arrivals that were coming were football players and probably couldn't read anyway. She told me to shut the f*** up, I think I can say that to her. 

*Betty isn't her real name. If you know me though, you know exactly who I am talking about.

I can't think of a good title for this post as I am completely speechless about its topic

I wish that I could tell you that the following product is a joke. I came upon the article via a Facebook status of my friend and was left completely speechless (which you should know doesn't happen all that often). Here is the article. 

In case you thought you read it wrong, it's a doll that you breast feed. While I think that it's important to breast feed children, I don't think it's necessarily something that you want to teach young children. It seems a little premature to teach them about it and that conversation should be saved when kids can understand it a bit more. I don't necessarily agree with the arguments stating that it promotes early pregnancy, but I just think it's too mature for young kids to understand.

As you can tell, my arguments aren't well formed. Not yet anyway. I literally read this article 5 minutes ago and was thinking earlier in the day about a blog post to write and couldn't come up with anything. I guess I found it. There may be more to come about this. Who knows.

If I had an IQ higher than 42...

I would be packing right now.

I got the go ahead from my boss today to start moving into my room assignment for the year. I plan on being completely moved over there by the end of the week, despite the fact that I will be gone tomorrow and Thursday. I just really, really hate moving and I like to put it off as long as possible. Actually, it's not the moving, it's the packing and unpacking that I hate. It takes too much time and energy. Time and energy that I don't have.

It all started when I started college. Going to school out of state, I felt like I needed more than I actually did. I am always worried that I am going to need something random that I haven't used in forever so I pack it. Do I end up needing it? Nope. So packing a pair of shoes that I haven't worn in 3 years that probably don't fit ends up being a waste of space. 

Also, because I hate packing so much, I tend to put it off until the last possible minute. When I moved down to Chicago, I didn't start packing until 11 PM the night before we left. We left at 5 AM, I wasn't in a happy mood driving down there. This time is not going to be any different. My boss told me that it's better that I move in sooner rather than later, but there is not a huge hurry. I decided that I want to be moved in by Friday (I had to set my own deadline, otherwise it would never get done) which means that I am not going to start packing until Thursday night at the earliest. I didn't unpack a lot of my stuff though, so hopefully it won't be too bad.

It's going to be a long week. Luckily I have quite a few things to look forward to :)

Breaking News from River Falls, WI

Today a friend and I took a spontaneous trip to Maurices. A dangerous place for me to go because I always spend way more money than I should or have for that matter. I was searching the store for great deals (a fabulous sale, double punches when you use your card, and cute clothes) that I couldn't pass up. There were a lot of clothes that I wanted to buy, but I restrained myself for once. 

Even though I did restrain myself, there were a few items I couldn't pass up- one being a dress. Yes, I bought a dress. Now, this is unusual because I don't normally buy, much less wear, dresses unless I absolutely have to. This dress was gorgeous though and- now, I don't say this often- it looked great on me. It is long, flowy, and pretty. I really love it and can't wait to wear it.

Once I get a picture with it on, I will post it. For now, we will now send you back to your regularly scheduled programming. 

50 Random Thoughts that You Probably Don't Care About

I am kind of bored and homework doesn't seem all that appealing right now, so I decided to compile a list of 50, yes 50, things about me or that pass through my mind on a fairly regular basis. I am not doing this because I like talking about myself (well, that's not the biggest reason anyway) but more so because I wanted to challenge myself to see if I could come up with a 50 things about me that are semi-interesting. If you bore easily, I suggest you stop now. This post is probably going to be rather dull.

50) I don't feel like I watch a lot of TV, but I know I do. I try really hard not to start watching a new show because I get addicted to it easily. Then I hear my friends talking about how amazing the show is and I start watching. 

49) I will forever and always love Hanson. Yes, Hanson. If I died right now, I would die a happy woman because I saw them live for the first time last year. 

48) For whatever reason I have always had this strange feeling that I was going to die young. I don't have any desire to die, but I just get a weird feeling that it's going to happen. It's not something I am scared of. In fact, I am oddly okay with it.

47) I hate crying in front of people. When I am alone, I will blubber like an idiot. If I am around others though, I try to hold it in. Some people probably think that I don't have a soul because of it.

46) I never had a strong desire to rebel against my parents. It never made any sense to me. Maybe it's because my parents weren't very strict in the first place.

45) I am really excited to have a family, but have absolutely no desire to start one anytime soon. I want at least 3 kids.

44) The 3 people I am closest to in this world are my grandma, grandpa, and granny. I would be totally lost and a completely different person without them in my life.

43) My Granny's favorite story to tell is from when I was about 3-years-old. She was asking me about a movie I saw and asked me what theatre I went to. I replied, "at a theatre near you". We were on the bus and she said she nearly peed herself laughing.

42) I have had 3 majors in college. I am going to get my undergrad degree in communicative disorders, but I have no ambition to go into that field. I want to go into student affairs.

41) Because I want to go into student affairs, I have a pretty limited choice of grad schools, which means that I have to live somewhere away from home and that idea both excites me and scares the shit out of me.

40) The earliest memory I have is being in church with my Granny playing with my toys. I don't know why I held onto that memory

39) I have always wanted to learn to yodel, but I have heard that it's really difficult.

38) My first actual job was working at a pharmacy. I like to tell people that I sold drugs

37) I'm not really like either of my parents. I have my dad's dumb, weird sense of humor and that's about it, really.

36) When I am stressed or overwhelmed, I love taking long, hot showers. They seem to calm me down

35) I grew up having cats as pets. I have always wanted a dog though. 

34) In a period of 8 months, I went through 3 Razr cell phones. They suck.

33) I try hard to be good with money, but I am way too impulsive for my own good and it's gotten me into trouble more than a few times.

32) I lived in Chicago for about 6 months and then I realized that I wanted to be closer to home.

31) I have the best job in the world. I have seen things that I never thought I would and met people that have had a tremendous and positive impact on my life.

29) I hate dead baby jokes. They make me want to cry.

28) The Wizard of Oz will always put me in a good mood.

27) If I could sleep all day, I would. Alas, I have a little thing called class and a job that prevents me from doing so.

26) I am trying this new thing where I eat healthier. It's really difficult to do with the food they serve in our cafeteria. 

25) My idea of a fun night is just chilling with friends. Every once in awhile I have this urge to get plastered, but I would rather not spend the money. Sometimes I go to watch other people get wasted. That's always fun.

24) I hate scary movies. It takes me forever to get to sleep after I watch one.

23) My current favorite read is a book called The Shack. It's a pretty difficult read and it's taken me a long time to read because of that.

22) A lot of people think that I have a lot of patience. On the contrary, I don't with everyone. I usually have more patience with kids and my residents than with anyone else.

21) Most people can't stand vomit, blood, or anything else like that. I, surprisingly, have a strong stomach for that stuff.

20) I can't stand seeing needles being poked into skin. I don't know why, but it gives me the chills.

19) When I go home, I stay up all night watching Nick at Night. It makes me feel old that now they are playing shows from my childhood.

18) Nothing makes me happier than putting a smile on someone else's face.

17) I think I am pretty good at accepting things that I can't change. It makes me a lot happier by doing that. 

16) I am a pretty big optimist. Most people can see that as a fault, but I am a realist and I know that bad things happen. I try to see the good in situations though.

15) I hate Shia LaBeouf

14) I also hate Rachel Ray

13) I can out burp a lot of guys I know. That grosses some people out. Oh well.

12) My favorite weather is sweatshirt weather. My favorite sweatshirt to wear is my Hanson one.

11) My favorite time of the year is when hockey and baseball overlap

10) I used to microwave ice cream and then eat it with a fork

9) Unlimited texting was the best investment I ever made

8) I really want a tattoo, but my fear of needles is keeping me from that.

7) I hate when people mix up homonyms. It's not that difficult to distinguish "its" from "it's". 

6) I also dislike poor grammar in general, especially with college students. Go watch some School House Rocks and get it right.

5) That being said, I love editing papers. I became the go to person for that last year. It was so much fun, even if the boys liked to wait until the last possible minute to ask me.

4) My least favorite part of my job is the confrontation. It sucks, but I am a lot better at it than I was when I started.

3) I am so glad that I am out of middle school and high school. I have seen middle schoolers and high schoolers today and it scares me for our future.

2) For being in a job that requires organization, I am definitely not.

1) Online shopping is my guilty pleasure

"We Have Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself"

What a bunch of crap, Mr. Franklin D. Roosevelt.

I have come to the realization over the past few years that I have the most irrational fears of anyone I know. I can't pinpoint the cause of most of them. Really the only explanation is that I have completely lost my mind and should be committed to some kind of asylum. Since I will never be caught, I sit here writing this meaningless blog that a total of 2 people will probably read. It's difficult for me to dwindle my list down to only a few, but for your sake (and to a lesser extent, mine), I have done just that.

Ticks: These disease-ridden arachnids have always scared me. They are the reason that I don't like camping and avoid wooded areas whenever possible (that and I have a fear of being kidnapped. More on that later though). A few days ago was the first time in my entire life that I have ever had a tick on me and it's safe to say that I went into panic mode. They don't just crawl on you either. No, that would be too easy. They latch on you and suck the life out of you. It gives me the chills just thinking about it.

Costume Characters: I really have no idea where this fear comes from, I just know that I don't like them. Oddly enough, I did very well in Disney World. Maybe it's because we didn't stop and get pictures with a lot of them, but the ones that we did see didn't bother me. I loathe our school mascot. It's incredibly creepy. My school also does this promo for events on campus that involves someone dressing up as a gorilla. You can imagine how well that goes. The Underwater Adventures at Mall of America has a mascot that I run away from all the time. I swear, one time that thing chased me. They give me the creeps.

The Easter Bunny: Yes, I realize that the Easter Bunny is a costume character as well, but he (or she) freaks me out so much that it deserves its own spot. I remember when the fear really set in. I was shopping during the Easter season one day and, of course, there was an opportunity to get your picture taken with the Easter Bunny. I didn't get within 10 feet of the thing before I ran away. My freshman year, there was a band that played and the drummer dressed as the Easter bunny. I hate that band solely for that reason.

Being Kidnapped: Ever since I was little, this was a big fear of mine. When I was about 7 years old, I was at home and my grandma called. She had heard on her police scanner that there was a blue van that was trying to pick up kids in our neighborhood. At least I am pretty sure that's what she said. I didn't trust anyone in a blue van after that and I generally started not trusting people either. Especially people that drove something that looks like this.

This all explain so much that it's scary

Channing Tatum got married. My life is over!

Disclaimer: the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the content of the post, but I just said it out loud and I couldn't think of a more clever title.

I recently ordered and iPod Touch. Something I am very excited about and I can't wait to use it. I feel that my life will feel a little more complete with it. Thank you, materialism. I decided to track the package online because I wanted to see when it's supposed to arrive. 

What follows is quite possibly the most confusing and illogical thing I have ever seen in my life. Proceed with caution and don't say that I didn't warn you.

I'll Take Basic Geography for $200, Alex

I am currently taking a summer class called Postcolonial Literature and Film. I know, sounds exciting right? Not even a little bit. We basically learn about colonialism in various countries through discussion, movies, and different forms of writing (like the title of the course didn't give that one). As boring as it is, I have learned a lot in the class and I actually do like it more than I let on. Although somedays going to class is like pulling teeth and I wish my professor would just stop talking and stay on topic for a change.

Last week in class we talked about Ireland. We watched the movie, The Wind That Shakes the Barley (which is now added to the list of one of my favorite movies that most people have never seen). It took place right before the Irish Civil War, so the British were still in Ireland. It showed the IRA trying to get the British out of Ireland and the effects of the division of the Irish on the Anglo-Irish Treaty.

Obviously after the movie we discussed it. My professor started using the terms "British" and "English" interchangeably and it apparently confused some of my classmates. One girl raised her hand and asked what the difference was between the two. It ended up being about a 15 minute discussion about the difference between the Great Britain and England. I'm not sure about you, but I feel that a college student should know the difference. It's kind of like the rule that all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are not squares; the English are British, but not all British are English. She actually considered bringing up a map to show people England in relation to the Britain.

Am I insane to think that college students should know the difference? I feel that the number of people in my class that didn't know says that I am.

Just in case you wanted to make sure you heard right...

My cousin's boyfriend took the following picture in an elevator. I am not sure where. I am sure that it made me laugh for a good 15 minutes. At least.

Roscoe Jenkins- Master Chef 2

Since my staff isn't being fed by the school this week, it was my turn to cook dinner. I opted to make BBQ chicken because I have had a craving for it for a long time. The recipe (sort of) is below. I didn't take pictures of the entire process because I needed to charge my camera batteries. I did take a picture of the final product though. It turned out pretty damn good. Seriously, someone give me a medal.

I thought that it seemed a tad bit boring to just use regular BBQ sauce. I was planning on making homemade BBQ sauce and asked my friend for her recipe. I wasn't sure how it was going to work with oven baked chicken, so I decided to go a different route. I got a bottle of honey BBQ sauce and a can of pineapple (the can I got had only fresh pineapple juice and it wasn't in syrup). I put some of the BBQ sauce into a mixing bowl and added the juice from the can of pineapple. I mixed that together, put it on the chicken and baked the chicken for about an  hour. After that hour, I took the pieces of pineapple and put them on top of the chicken and baked it for another 15-20 minutes. 

As a side dish, I made quinoa. I haven't had quinoa in a really long time and wanted to make it and thought this was a great time to do. You can do almost anything with quinoa. I love it! I toasted the quinoa and then cooked it in chicken stock. I mixed that together with chopped onion and garlic, lemon juice, parsley, thyme, and salt. I had a little bit too much onion and I forgot that I didn't like raw onion so it wasn't my favorite thing ever, but it was decent. And quinoa is one of the best foods (if not the best food you can eat) so it was a winning situation no matter what.

Of course, you can't have dinner without a vegetable. I just made corn from a bag and added butter, salt and pepper to it. Nothing fancy :) 

Here is the complete meal:

From Culinary Attempts

I Don't Get It*

There are several things in this world that I don't understand. Some of them are because I have a fairly simple mind. Some of them are because I like things that are straight forward with very little ambiguity. And some of them don't have a reason, I just don't get them. I have complied a list of the top five and it's almost certain that there will be at least one more top five list of the same thing.

5) The Jonas Brothers

I have never seen what the big deal is with these guys. Some people call my a hypocrite because when I was younger I was obsessed with The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and Hanson (still am). To those people I say this: The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, and Hanson were actually cute, had good songs, and could sing. The first two didn't play their own instruments, but Hanson sure did and they are 100 times better than The Jonas Brothers ever will be. It's probably my obsession with Hanson that also makes me hate the Jonas Brothers even more. A lot of people compare Hanson and The Jonas Brothers; the only thing these two bands have in common is that the band members are brothers. People made fun of Hanson's hair, but pretty sure the Jonas Brothers have worse hair. I am also convinced that the middle one (I think it's the middle one) is an illegitimate child. He looks nothing like the other two.

4) Curling

I love Canada and Canadians. They are fabulous neighbors and I would chose Canada over say, North Korea or Afghanistan; however, I don't seem to understand why it is so popular with the Canucks. I understand that it's a lot of strategy and physics, which is probably why I don't like it all that much. It gained a little more of a following after the 2006 Winter Olympics, but I did not become one of those followers. I don't have much else to say other than I don't get it and it bores me to tears.

3) Zebra Print Clothing

It gives me a headache. That's all I really have to say about that.

2) "Complicated" Relationships on Facebook

I guess I don't understand how a relationship can be complicated in the first place (this is where the simple mind comes in). To me, you are either in a relationship or you're not; there is no in between. What baffles me even more about it is that people actually set their relationship status to "complicated" on facebook. Last I checked, a relationship was a personal thing. People just do that for attention and it irritates me. Please stop.

1) Mean People

Maybe it's because I grew up going to Catholic school for 13 years or maybe it's because I was born with a golden heart, but I can't stand people being mean to each other. There is enough bad stuff going on in the world and when people are mean to one another, it just makes things worse.  People need to learn to deal with their problems and not take out their insecurities on other people. Being mean to others just makes you looks like a jackass and instills fear in people. Is putting fear into people really how people want to go about life? That makes for one lonely life. Just saying. It would make the world a much better, happier place if we could all do that. Not saying that I am never mean. It happens and I would lie if I said I was perfect, but it's something that I acknowledge and I try really hard not to be mean to people. 

*The title of this blog refers to something I hear from my boss quite often. Don't get me wrong. I adore my boss, she is fabulous and really is actually smart. It just makes me laugh and would probably make my co-workers laugh if they read this. The rest of you probably don't care.

Excuse me, but I think your dress is ringing

I have an odd fascination with strange news. I think it's due to the fact that more often than not, it's more positive than regular news. I was browsing through the odd news section of yahoo today and discovered this.

It looks like Maria Sharapova is talking on her cell phone and showing off a normal (albeit, ugly) dress. Right? Wrong. What the tennis champ is modeling is quite possibly the dumbest, most useless thing I have ever encountered. Essentially, it is a cell phone dress.  The idea is that the cell phone would connect to the dress using bluetooth (it's almost better than those bluetooth headsets that look like oversized beetles. Almost. Okay, it's not). When the dress wearer/cell phone user gets a call, the scaly things on the side of the dress light up. 

While I am mostly against this looming trend (I predict that the rate of seizures will increase significantly), I do see one positive. It would definitely help pinpoint the culprit of cell phone calls that interrupt lecture. I am so ADD that I get distracted by a piece of dust, so you can imagine what a cell phone call does to me. If it's a song that I know (even if I am not fond of the song), it will be stuck in my head the rest of class, making me miss the lecture and I fail the class. Not cool. I almost wish that these dresses would be mandatory in class and the guilty party should be forced to wear this.

Things that should never be (re)produced

1) Cheetos Chap Stick:I may be slightly bias due to the fact that I only eat Cheetos once in a blue moon, but I do not want my lips tasting or smelling like Cheetos all day. I suppose if your name is Chester and  you have a thing for crunchy, artificially flavored cheese snacks, it may be a different story. Worse than you having to deal with the smell or taste would be your significant other having to endure it. I would not want to kiss a guy who has Cheeto lips. It's almost as bad as kissing an ashtray.

2) Life Saver Soda: I like Life Savers. The hard candy (and sometimes the gummy). I don't want to drink my candy. Sorry. It could make for a good chaser, but I would rather not have this product reproduced to find out. I'll stick to soda or Hawaiian Punch. Thanks.

3) Colgate Kitchen Entrees: I shouldn't even have to explain why this was a bad idea. On the toothpaste container it says to call the Poison Control Center if you ingest. Who thought that voluntarily eating it was a good idea? I don't know, but I will give $1000 to anyone who finds out and punches him/her.

4) NASCAR Romantic Novels: Nothing is romantic about NASCAR. Nothing. Unless you are a 60-year-old from Arkansas who is married to her cousin.

Roscoe Jenkins- Master Chef

Tonight for staff we decided to have a potluck grill out. Everyone brought their own meat to be grilled, as well as one dish to share with everyone. I was super excited because I found this recipe that I have wanted to try for awhile and I decided to make it for the grillout. I am not much of a cook so I was nervous about it tasting good, but everyone loved it, so I was excited and very proud of myself. I may have to consider a career change. Only not really. It's fairly simple (if I can make it, anyone can). Check out the pictures below along with the recipe. Try it and take your taste buds for a ride!

*Le Ingredients: Olive oil, Mayo, Parmesan Cheese, Adobo Seasoning (or whatever kind of seasoning you like for chicken, but I highly recommend Adobo (you can find it in the Hispanic food aisle)), Chicken the recipe called for 4 chicken breasts (I used chicken tenders because they were on sale), Broccoli Florets, Pepper, Salt, Noodles (bow tie or penne work best), and Garlic (not seasoning)*

* Awful picture, but it's the noodles and broccoli cooking. The noodles are supposed to be al dente, which takes about 10 minutes. The last few minutes, add the broccoli. If it's frozen broccoli florets, it should cook a little longer. I should add that this is supposed to be done in a dutch oven (not that kind of dutch oven), but I didn't have one. I just used a large pot and it worked fine. I used a 12 oz box of noodles and about 3 cups of broccoli, which is what the recipe called for. Using more or less is up to you. After draining, return to the pan*

* The chicken cooking. The recipe called for 4 chicken breasts. Like I said, I used chicken tenders because they were on sale so I pretty much just eyed it. Again, it's up to you if you want to add more or less. Coat the chicken in the Adobo seasoning, salt and pepper. Before adding the chicken to the pan, heat 2 tablespoons olive oil then add about 2 gloves of minced garlic. Heat for about 30 seconds and then add the chicken. Cook chicken all the way through. Dice it up into bite size pieces. This can be done before cooking the chicken. It doesn't really matter.*

* With the heat on low, mix in the chicken, about 1/4-1/2 cup of mayo (again, adding more or less depending on your taste), salt and pepper into the pot with the noodles and broccoli. Heat until it's heated through*

*Put in a mix bowl, top with shredded Parmesan cheese and enjoy! :) *

*Some people need a beer when they cook. I need Diet Coke*

Not that anyone cares or anything...

I apologize for the lack of updates (not like a ton of people read this, but whatever), but I have been insanely busy with work. Yes, work. I am working this summer at school as a conference assistant, meaning I am basically an RA for any camps or conferences that stay in my building. It's a cool gig. I am excited to see how the school runs during the summer. I am not excited that my building will be full of middle school boys in a couple weeks. I hope they aren't too bad...if they are, I will fine the heck out of them...don't think I won't. 

The past couple of weeks, I have been filled with CA training. It's like RA training only less intense and I am responsible for a lot more things (ie an entire building). I love my staff. We all seem to mesh pretty well. I was nervous because we have a few really strong personalities and I thought that they were going to clash. It's been a lot of fun and I am excited to see what the summer is going to bring. 

I feel like I should fill this post with something random. So here it is. A good friend of mine sent me this link and I find it hilarious. I love mistranslated things or things that are translated directly from another language to English and make NO sense in English. This website is FULL of them. I am not making fun of these languages in any way. Chances are that translation from the English language to their language is just as hilarious. So just enjoy it and don't read too much into my actions. I am very easily amused and have a fairly simple (most of the time) mind. 

http://www.engrish.com/

Top 10 signs you are a resident assistant/advisor

For the past 2 years I have been a resident assistant/advisor. Having pretty much made this job my life in the last 2 years, I feel like I have enough experience to make this list. Now, in David Letterman fashion, I present to you the Top 10 Signs that you are a Resident Assistant/Advisor:

10) Thursday is your least favorite day of the week.

9) You can name more ice breakers than state capitals  

8) It's not unusual for you to be working until at least 5 AM on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night

7) You can't pass a fire extinguisher without looking to see if it's in the green

6) You forgot what a pronoun is and have stopped using them all together

5) Every time you hear a police or ambulance siren, you think to yourself "please don't be going to my building"

4) You have fallen asleep in your 8 AM class because you were up until 4 AM handling an incident

3) You spend more time on door decs and your bulletin board than you do on your homework

2) Your friends have ever contacted you wanted "RA advice" in dealing with a friend or roommate issues

1) You have told your sibling, dog, cat, or hamster to be quiet because it's quiet hours

Learn some manners and go back to grade school...

I have a ridiculously long list of pet peeves. On more than a few occasions during the day I have been known to call people jerks or jackasses among other things (all under my breath of course; I don't think that I could say something like that to someone's face, no matter how much they irritate me) because they do something that annoys me. It's also at the point of the year when I want to punch everyone in the face, no matter how small the act that they do or don't do is. For your safety, read below because if you commit any of these crimes around me, I may have to show you my mean right hook.

1) People who don't say thank you when you hold the door open for them. This is especially annoying if have to hold the door for more than 10 seconds. I don't care if I have my iPod on or not, I will still know if you say thank you or not. Those 2 words are not that difficult to say or it brightens my day when I do hear it. It's ridiculously rude and I will probably slam the door in your face next time I see you.

2) People who don't hold the door open for you even though you are right behind them. I have a thing with doors. I don't expect someone to run to a door an open it for me, that's ridiculous and would probably be more annoying to me than anything. I do, however, expect someone who is walking in front of me to hold the door open. It's just common courtesy. All I am asking for is the simple, walk in before me, hold the door open with your arm move (I have no idea if that made any sense. It does in my head, so I am going to pretend that it makes sense in your head too). 

3) Poor Grammar. This is definitely true when it comes to using possessive vs. contraction. It's not that difficult to understand "your" refers to something that belongs to you and "you're" means "you are". Get it right. Especially college students. How in the heck did you get here in the first place? I understand if you aren't good at english; I suck at math. However, I think that you can figure out the difference between simple things like that. 

4) People who do things solely for the sake of attention. I have noticed this more than a lot lately. Certain people like to cause drama because there is nothing better going on in their lives. The world does not revolve around you. Get over yourself, you aren't that great.

5) People who twist things to make it something they aren't. This could go with the above pet peeve, however, it deserves it's own place on the list. The biggest thing that bothers me related to this category is when girls over analyze everything guys do. Maybe I am not your typical girl because I don't do that and maybe that's why it bothers me when girls do it. It's even worse when girls continue to analyze things even though they have talked about it with the guy and they decided they are just friends. Refer to the previous item on the list to see why that bothers me.

I know that there are many more to add to this list, I just can't think of them right now. I will add them when I think of them*

Stay tuned for pictures from this past weekend!

*not that anyone reads this thing, I just like to tell myself people do.

She's Back...

For the first time since Jan 26, I saw one of my favorite people in the entire world. She returned from her secret work in several secret locations and I am beyond excited. This weekend will consist of lots of catching up and lots of weird, random conversations. 

Stay tuned. Pictures will soon follow.

Proper Stadium/Area Etiquette

On Sunday, a friend and I enjoyed a wonderful game of baseball. It wasn't different from most games that I go to, except that I realized just how rude and inconsiderate people can be at sports games, concerts, or any other event where there are a lot of people. Realizing this, I decided to compile a list of proper stadium or arena etiquette. Pass the word along (not like a lot of people read this, but if I can reach just one person, I will feel as though I have accomplished something in my otherwise unproductive life)

1) Your feet should only be on the seat in front of you if no one is sitting there. There is no smell worse to me than smelly feet. It usually makes me gag. The last thing I want is to have to smell a stranger's feet. Especially if said stranger doesn't seem to have proper hygiene to begin with. At no time should this rule be broken, even with close toed shoes. It invades my space and it's awkward when someone's feet are next to you. This rule should especially hold for people who are wearing sandals (more specifically flip flops) and they have toe nails the size of a yard stick and the color of rotting teeth. 

2) Don't bring your kid if he/she is going to spend the whole time complaining. I love kids, I think they are cute and funny. However, there are times that I don't want to be around them. When they are complaining and whining for a solid 3 hours, for example. Please, parents, we know you love your kids and want to spend time with them, but don't bring your kid if you know they are going to complain the whole time. 

3) If you catch a ball or puck, give it to a kid. Some kids do go to games and enjoy them. What better way to help them enjoy it more than to give them a foul ball or a puck? I can almost assure you that the ball that you catch is either going to a) end up in the closest collecting dust or b) end up on eBay once you get it signed. Make a kid's day, give it to a kid. They will appreciate it a lot more than you will.

4) Watch the game! That's what you are there for, aren't you? There is plenty of time to socialize in between innings, periods, half time, whatever. Save the conversation for then. I don't think there is anything more irritating than sitting next to someone who talks about their dog, boyfriend, or plant during an entire game. Even worse, talking on your cell phone. Still worse, explaining to the person that it's too loud at the game, so you can't hear them very well, which makes you talk louder. Duh, it's loud. If your phone rings, ignore it or go outside and answer it. Don't subject me to your stupid, loud conversation

5) When leaving the game, leave row by row, don't try to rush out. It's just common courtesy to do this. The rows closest to the stairs leave first and you work your way down. If you had seats in the first row, just wait. You are going to seem like a jackass if you cut in front of a lot of people. The only time this is void is if you are in labor, in which case you should have left right away. 

That's all I have for now. I didn't have time to write this at the beginning of the week (yay for the end of the semester), but I am sure I will be able to add to it the next time I go to a game. Hopefully that will be sooner rather than later :)

It has arrived...

No, not the Apocalypse , my new computer. Thursday while I was sitting the desk, I loaded all of my files onto an external hard drive and waited (pretty patiently I might add considering how excited I was) for Kell and Billy to come to my hall. Around 9:30 PM, I said goodbye to Ralph...

*R.I.P Ralph December 2004-April 2009

...and I said "hello" to my new computer. It has yet to be named.

*Suggestions for names would be GREATLY appreciated!

The Heat War is Over...for Now

Yesterday after a very relaxing Easter lunch and "beergarita", I headed back to school. It's safe to say that I won the Heat War that emerged between my family and I while I enjoyed some time away from campus. The heat was never turned up too high for longer than 5 minutes while I was at home (save for when I was asleep, possibly). There is no doubt in my mind that this war will continue when I make an appearance for Christmas this year, but for now, I have won my friends. You can all sleep well tonight.

On another note, my laptop is officially on a downward spiral...actually, it has been like that for the last couple weeks. I have had my trusty PC for almost 5 years and it's finally on it's way to the big desk in the sky. Firefox erased ALL of my bookmarks, including ones that I had for grad school. I was very pleased with myself too...I had all my grad school stuff organized and it was working out great for me. Firefox also never remembers websites that I have been to; not that it's difficult to type in the entire web address, it's just easier when the website conviently shows up on the drop down menu. I am not sure if my computer has some sort of virus or if there is something wrong with Firefox itself. Either way, it's time for a change. I have decided that I am going to buy a Mac. To be more specific, a Macbook. My friend's boyfriend is selling his slightly used one. When I say slightly used, I mean that he bought it in Feb. 2009, and is already selling it. I trust him, so I know that there is nothing wrong with it. It also comes with a bunch of different programs which I am really excited about. I haven't used a Mac regularly since middle school, so I am trying to use the ones that are available to students on campus so I can get used to it. It's not like they are it that different and I consider myself semi computer savii, so I think I can figure it out. In any case, I am excited. My computer should be here Friday of this week :)

It should be illegal to be this easily amused

It doesn't matter what I am doing, I can always find a way to amuse myself. You can put me in a room with nothing but a hair binder and I will be content. Not only am I easily amused, but sometimes I think I have ADD since I can't still still or do the same activity for very long. For example, today I couldn't decide what to watch on TV and homework didn't seem like it was that fun, so I was flipping through the channels. Comcast digital cable comes equipped with Music Choice which is a ridiculous amount of music channels; they have everything from classical to show tunes to old school rap. For those of us with music ADD, it's the best medicine there is. It seems that Music Choice has added a new feature called Showoff. Showoff allows people to send text messages and pictures to the channel they are watching and it will be displayed. It was mostly people saying how much they loved someone or wishing people a Happy Easter.

I decided to test this Showoff deal and see if they moniter it. I sent a text message that said, "Jon, I am pregnant. It's not yours. SORRY!"* I got a text message back saying that my message didn't meet their criteria. I wasn't happy, but I was determined to get a message on TV. It wasn't because I wanted my "15 minutes of Fame" that Music Choice was advertising; I just was really bored. My next message I sent said, "My dog is better than your dog."** I got another text message that said that there was a high number of messages sent and mine might not get on there. Turns out, it didn't. I spent 2 hours watching the station and waiting for my message to appear. Needless to say, there were some interesting messages posted. I took pictures of my favorite messages from the night. Enjoy.

I am not even sure what this says. I imagine it was written by a 13-year-old girl. Possibly named Shay.




It makes me happy that love can endure everything. Even insanity.




There were quite a few of these. I chose this one because of the substition of zero for the letter "O"





Incest?

By far my favorite comment that I saw today

* I am not pregnant nor am I dating a guy named Jon.
**I don't own a dog nor have I ever owned one.

The Heat War Begins

It never fails. Every time I come home for a visit, my family and I engage in a war of the thermostat. It doesn't matter the season, we can never agree on a temperature. The rest of the family seems to possess some gene that always makes them cold, even in 70 degree weather. I do not have this gene, so naturally we disagree on a comfortable temperature. What bothers me most about the whole thing though is that my sister will complain about being cold, but she will be wearing hoochie shorts and a tank top...umm...maybe if you put some clothes on you would be a little warmer, especially in the winter.

This past winter break, I woke up every morning to a house that was at least 75 degrees. When I went to bed at night, it was a comfortable 62 degrees. Every one in my house claims that it was too cold and that's why they turned it up. I know it's Minnesota and the winters can be harsh, but seriously, it doesn't need to be up that high. They are also forgetting the fact that I was the only one home during the day; 2 of them went to work while the other trudged her bratty butt off to school, so it shouldn't have mattered what the temperature was. It's a waste of money, plain and simple. I have mentioned this several times, but it doesn't seem to get through to them.

The war is typically between my sister and me (though sometimes my mom likes to side with my sister). I am home for Easter and the war has begun. My sister just came out of her room and turned up the heat...to 70 degrees...unacceptable. Of course, as soon as she shut the door to her room, I turned it off. I have a feeling the battle is going to continue over the next 3 days and it's a battle that I am prepared to fight until the death. I have never lost a war of the thermostat yet and it's not about to happen now.

Stay tuned for more updates...