I am thankful for...

I feel like the last couple posts haven't been the most uplifting things in the world. I realize I complain a lot. I am getting better at actually doing something about the things I complain about; and truth be told, compared to what most people in the world are dealing with, I don't have that much to complain about. I really feel like I am a grateful, positive person. Sometimes, that slips my mind though and I forget. Once I have time to mull things over, I remember what I have isn't so bad. That being said, I am dedicating this blog entry to things I am thankful for.

1) My Friends: They are the the best, most wonderful group of people. I have been blessed to surround myself with a pretty unique bunch of people. I have made so many friends throughout the years. Some have lasted a long time, some not so long, but I have learned something about myself in every single friendship. They have all brought out something in me that I didn't realize was there.

2) My Family: As much as they drive me crazy, I do love them; granted I may not always like them, but I will always love them.

3) My Faith: I haven't always been the most religious person in the world. I believe in God, I know that for sure and I do sometimes get a lot out of going to church, but I feel as though I am forced to go to church and I don't like that. I may not be practicing in the sense that I don't always go to church, but I don't think God cares to be honest. I believe that God does have a plan for us and that everything that happens to us, happens for a reason; I also believe that everything will work out in the end. I don't believe in coincidences. I believe that God talks to us in His own way and you just need to open your eyes to see it. It's just something that gives me peace.

4) My Education: I am extremely blessed to be able to have gotten the chance to go to college, especially since no one in my family had before me. I learned a lot in the classroom, but I learned way more outside of it. I learned about myself, I learned that I have to make decisions that are right for me regardless of what other people think, and I learned that I am a way stronger person that I ever had imagined I could be.

5) TV Shows: It's pathetic, borderline insane how much of my life revolves around TV shows. The Bachelorette and Glee topping the list. I get way too excited about these shows. Probably way more than is normal.

6) Books: I love reading. I have a ton of books that I want to read this summer. I usually read fiction, but in an effort to learn more about things that interest me, I have picked up quite a few non-fiction books. The one I am currently reading is Lies my Teacher Told Me. It's about how American textbooks sugar coat history so as not to make America look bad. It's really interesting and I like it a lot.

7) Music: Pretty self explanatory

8) The Internet: Pretty much how I spend all my time that is not used up by friends or work. I love finding new websites and random stories, pictures, whatever.

Blah...

So for the last few days I have just been in an irritated mood. I can't seem to shake it. Michael and I are going to go to hang out Friday so hopefully getting out of the house and throwing back a couple and just being away will help.

So like I said in my last post, my mom and step-dad went to spend the night, well, a couple nights at the casino. I decided that I would be nice and clean the house since no one else that lives here does. When they got home, all the dishes were done, I dusted, vacuumed, swept the kitchen, mopped the kitchen and the bathroom, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom (Lord knows the last time that was done). I didn't expect a whole lot when they got home, but they didn't even acknowledge it. And, of course, when the walked in the house, they didn't say a word to me. Of course, because I didn't clean the bathtub, they said something about that. Ugh. It's frustrating. Seriously, my sister does nothing to help out around the house. I have done the dishes more times since I have been home than she probably has in the last 3 years. Yet, all anyone does in this house is bitch. Which is ironic that I am bitching about them bitching. I don't really care.

If my step-dad is upset at me, he never comes directly to me to say anything. It always goes through my mom, who I don't take seriously at all. I don't think I would take my step-dad seriously though if started saying something to me now though. I don't feel like they care or anything. I don't share anything with them because they either 1)don't care or 2) will tell everyone. I am a fairly guarded person and if I want to tell someone something, I will. I dunno, I'm just not happy at home.

Update 2.0

Okay, so I said I would update on the home situation. And because I have nothing better to do, I figured I would.

So being home, for me, sucks. I have been essentially on my own for the last 4 years. I haven't had to share a living space with people for the last 2 years (my first year as an RA, I lived in the suite-style building and had 3 roommates. There's a funny story.) and all of a sudden I have to live with 3 people. 3 people that drive me absolutely insane.

This biggest argument we get in is over the thermostat. Well, an air conditioner. I am a person that hates the heat and humidity. When I got home from school, the first thing I noticed was that they took the air conditioner out. Ugh. Luckily there have only been a couple gross days and for 2 of them I was at a friend's house, but still. It's honestly probably not going to get in until at least July. I tried to carry it upstairs myself so I can put it in, but it's way too heavy.

The thing that drives me most insane about being at home is that communication sucks. I can't even say that because between the 4 of us, there is very little dialogue. I very much feel like the adult in the house. I understand that my sister is 19-years-old, but when it's 2 AM and she's not home, I worry. She doesn't tell anyone that she isn't going to be home and my mom doesn't even seem to worry, which sort of upsets me. My mom has always been more concerned with being our friend than being our mom. Until my step-dad moved in, that's exactly what she was. And now that she tries to be our mom, I can't take her seriously and I just kind of do what I want anyway. Okay, sorry for that rant. Back on the communication topic. There was one event that has occurred this summer that has been especially irritating to me.

Every once in awhile, my mom and step-dad get vouchers for a free night's stay at a casino. It's fine that they go, but they never tell us that they're going somewhere for the night. I don't even care where they are going, just that they say they won't be home so I don't worry all night. When they would go, I would sit and worry because I had no idea where they were. I would call my mom's cell phone at like 12:30 AM and no one would answer. Of course, I thought the worst. Every time they came home, I would ask them to just tell me if they are going away for the night so I know not to worry. Do they do that? Nope. One time I went 4 days without talking to them because I was so mad. They, of course, acted like nothing was wrong.

The other day, my mom said these exact words to me, "don't tell your sister, but Peter and I are going to stay overnight at the casino; she doesn't like when we go". I can tell you why. She doesn't like to stay home by herself, so if you just fricken told her, she could find somewhere to stay so she wouldn't be home alone. I don't understand the point in lying. Yesterday, my mom told me not to tell my step-dad that I knew where they were going. It BAFFLES me. I have NO idea why it's necessary to lie about it. You are adults, I don't care what you do. I have said it a thousand times, just tell me that you won't be home at night. I am going to tell my sister where they are. I don't really care. If they get mad, they get mad. I don't think that 1)it's necessary to lie and 2) it's okay to lie.

When someone comes home, it's never, "Hi. How are you?"; It's always, walk into the house, maybe make food and go to your room. No one talks in this house about anything. I hate living here. I feel as though I am ignored and not important. I feel like I am just living here because of convenience, which in all honesty is true. I probably will end up going to live with Kelly. I think I'll be much happier there. Her home feels like my home. I can't think of the last time we all ate together and it wasn't a holiday; in fact, I don't think we have ever sat around our table to eat as a family. Kelly's family doesn't eat at the table, but at least they are together most of the time. Right now, the place in which I reside is not my home, it's my house. It makes me sad that I don't feel loved and wanted in my own house. I hope that in the future when I get married and have kids that our house will be a home. I think I have learned enough from living here that I know I can't live like this forever.

Huh, I'm bad at this updating thing...

Okay, it's not really that I am bad at it, it's more that my life is either 1) extremely boring that no one would want to read what I have to say (not that many people care to begin with) or 2) so ridiculously busy that the last thing on my mind is updating no one about my life. In addition to that, I cheated on Blogger. I opened up another blog account on a different blogging website. Like with most things, I went back to what I love the most. So here I am with a lot to say and even more time on my hands.

I guess since my last entry (in September (yikes!)), a lot has happened. A whole academic year and 2 weeks of summer in fact.

I finished up my last year at UWRF. It was a bittersweet year. I was excited to end my schooling at River Falls, but for sure not ready to leave the people whom I have come to call my family. They have all impacted my life and sadly, I feel like I made more connections this year than I have in years past. And then I had to leave. It was a sad ending. Even sitting here now, I want to cry. Leaving high school was tough, but college is such a different experience. I spent pretty much all my time with these people; day, night, weekend...all of my time.

The very first friend I made at River Falls was Kelly. She's still one of my best friends today. We have too much in common and have too many random connections not to be friends. Her mom invited me to live with them this summer and I am seriously considering it. I can't stand being at home, but more on that later. She knows more about me than most people and I would be completely lost without her. She made my 4 years here what they were.

Of course, I made other friends too. Krissi, Taste, Smang. They all helped make my 4 years at RF amazing. The countless nights with random stories are something that I will cherish forever. They truly are some of my best friends and I love them to death. Even though I didn't get to see these guys a lot, I feel like it didn't affect our friendship. I knew that they were only a phone call away.

I also said good-bye to a job that I have loved for 3 years. A job that helped shape me as a person and helped be realize what it is that I want to do with my life. Being an RA was a lot what I imagine being a mom is like. It was the most challenging and most rewarding job I could ever imagine (aside maybe from a parent). It was a 24/7 job and sometimes, that frustrated me. There were a lot of things I couldn't do with friends because of my job, but having an effect on my residents and helping their year totally made up for it. This year especially. I had all first-years. It was by far my most difficult year, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love them to death and I know they are going to do amazing things in life.

This year's staff was also amazing. It definitely had its ups and downs, and there were times that I was ready to quit. My staff brought me through that though. To be honest, I was worried about some of the people on staff; I wasn't sure that we would connect. I am glad I was wrong. I found a connection with every staff member. True, some more than others, but I think that you will get that no matter what you do. My staff made me feel appreciated, loved, and supported. I only hope that I impacted them half as much as they impacted me.

This last year was my worst academically. I stopped caring second semester. I didn't like my major and I wasn't trying. I was frustrated too, because my goal of getting into grad school wasn't panning out. I did interview in Mississippi, however I didn't get in. I was pretty upset, but as with everything else, I believe that things happen for a reason.

As it turns out, I came up with a backup plan that I am pretty stoked about. This past semester, I took my favorite class I have ever taken at River Falls: The Psychology of Prejudice and Racism. It was mostly a discussion class and we had to read a couple articles and submit questions on an online forum before each class. The readings were interesting and I learned a lot from them. The professor was challenging, but I like that. I think it helped my critical thinking skills and has made me look at issues a lot closer. I look up to my professor from that class a lot. It's because of this class that I decided to look into getting a second bachelor's degree. One school near my house has a critical issues in race and ethnicity major and another has a social justice major. I applied to both of those schools and am hoping to hear back soon. I think it's going to be good for me and it's going to be something that I enjoy.

So, that's all I am updating for now. Maybe I will write later about home life and how swimmingly that's (not) going. I know I said earlier in the post that I would talk about it, but I am tired of typing and the Stanley Cup Finals are on.

Peace.

Taking the crazy cat lady to a whole different level

The other day a friend of mine was telling me about how her professor wears some sort of weird device in class. At first she said that she thought it was a microphone, but once class started her professor's voice wasn't amplified at all. At least not to her (more to come on that comment in a moment). I told her that maybe it was an insulin pump for diabetes or something and we kind of left it at that. Later she told me that one of her classmates has a hearing aid (she knows that I am kind of nerdy when it comes to the topic of the ear. I like knowing about things that not a lot of other people know much about. It makes me feel smart). Having remembered earlier in the conversation about the mysterious device, I asked her what the hearing aid looked like. If it just attached on the ear, then it was a normal, behind the ear hearing aid. If there was a weird little attachment that connected to his head, then it was a cochlear implant. If it was a cochlear implant, then the device was probably a microphone so that her classmate could hear what the professor was saying. Turns out, it was a cochlear implant.

That's not the point of this post. It's just a back story that I felt should be told to explain why I was looking up cochlear implants on google images. I wanted to find one to show her just to make sure that that's what it was, even though I was fairly certain. I typed "cochlear implant" into the google search engine and found this. Frightening, right? It baffles me, still. I have absolutely no idea why someone would have a cochlear implant for a cat. Maybe to do research, but even then it seems insane. It has to be some sort of animal cruelty. If nothing else because it just looks ridiculous.

"Shut the f*** up!"...

Those are the exact words that I heard from my boss one day last week. I wasn't in any sort of trouble. I had done nothing wrong. In fact, it was she who had made the mistake. I merely pointed out the mistake to her, therefore avoiding any embarrassment that may have been bestowed about my boss or the university.

It all started one early morning in the University Center. There were early arrivals coming that weekend so we had to stuff envelopes with information that they would need for move in. The stacks of paper seemed endless and I couldn't help but feel bad for the 500 trees that were killed. We need to figure out a better system, but I am not sure how that is possible. Anyway, back to the story. As it was pretty early in the morning, I forget exactly why we were just sitting around. We may have just been waiting for people or for the rest of the things that needed to go in the envelopes, but I decided to pick up a conduct guide that we give all the students that live in the residence halls (yes, residence halls. Dorm is not considered a positive term). It's just a little booklet that has rules and policies for the residence hall. Most students probably don't read it and it's really fun to point out the rule in the book when they do break it. Sorry, I keep getting off on tangents. So, I was sitting there reading it and I closed the book and looked at the front cover. Something seemed off, but I wasn't sure what it was. Then I realized it. It had said, "Uinversity of Wisconsin". In case you didn't catch it, university was spelled. u-i-n-v-e-r-s-i-t-y. Read it again. UINVERSITY. 

I couldn't believe it. I was dumbfounded. How a university spelled university wrong baffled me. Of course, me being me, I cracked up. I showed my staff and then decided that I should probably tell my supervisor. When I went back to her office she was on the phone. The director of res life, the big wig, happened to be walking by and I showed her. "OH NO! Go tell Betty*!" Betty* is another one of my supervisors, presumedly in charge of the booklets. I showed it to her and she looked stunned. That's when she said it.  "Shut the f*** up!" I never thought I would hear those words come out of her mouth. Not that she is a goody too shoes or anything, but that's not something that you expect to hear from your boss. It was hilarious, needless to say and it pretty much made my day. 

I did feel bad though. All the books had to get reprinted and we probably killed another couple hundred trees doing so. I told her that if worse came to worse and we didn't get all the books on time, it wouldn't be a big deal. The early arrivals that were coming were football players and probably couldn't read anyway. She told me to shut the f*** up, I think I can say that to her. 

*Betty isn't her real name. If you know me though, you know exactly who I am talking about.

I can't think of a good title for this post as I am completely speechless about its topic

I wish that I could tell you that the following product is a joke. I came upon the article via a Facebook status of my friend and was left completely speechless (which you should know doesn't happen all that often). Here is the article. 

In case you thought you read it wrong, it's a doll that you breast feed. While I think that it's important to breast feed children, I don't think it's necessarily something that you want to teach young children. It seems a little premature to teach them about it and that conversation should be saved when kids can understand it a bit more. I don't necessarily agree with the arguments stating that it promotes early pregnancy, but I just think it's too mature for young kids to understand.

As you can tell, my arguments aren't well formed. Not yet anyway. I literally read this article 5 minutes ago and was thinking earlier in the day about a blog post to write and couldn't come up with anything. I guess I found it. There may be more to come about this. Who knows.