Excuse me, but I think your dress is ringing

I have an odd fascination with strange news. I think it's due to the fact that more often than not, it's more positive than regular news. I was browsing through the odd news section of yahoo today and discovered this.

It looks like Maria Sharapova is talking on her cell phone and showing off a normal (albeit, ugly) dress. Right? Wrong. What the tennis champ is modeling is quite possibly the dumbest, most useless thing I have ever encountered. Essentially, it is a cell phone dress.  The idea is that the cell phone would connect to the dress using bluetooth (it's almost better than those bluetooth headsets that look like oversized beetles. Almost. Okay, it's not). When the dress wearer/cell phone user gets a call, the scaly things on the side of the dress light up. 

While I am mostly against this looming trend (I predict that the rate of seizures will increase significantly), I do see one positive. It would definitely help pinpoint the culprit of cell phone calls that interrupt lecture. I am so ADD that I get distracted by a piece of dust, so you can imagine what a cell phone call does to me. If it's a song that I know (even if I am not fond of the song), it will be stuck in my head the rest of class, making me miss the lecture and I fail the class. Not cool. I almost wish that these dresses would be mandatory in class and the guilty party should be forced to wear this.

Things that should never be (re)produced

1) Cheetos Chap Stick:I may be slightly bias due to the fact that I only eat Cheetos once in a blue moon, but I do not want my lips tasting or smelling like Cheetos all day. I suppose if your name is Chester and  you have a thing for crunchy, artificially flavored cheese snacks, it may be a different story. Worse than you having to deal with the smell or taste would be your significant other having to endure it. I would not want to kiss a guy who has Cheeto lips. It's almost as bad as kissing an ashtray.

2) Life Saver Soda: I like Life Savers. The hard candy (and sometimes the gummy). I don't want to drink my candy. Sorry. It could make for a good chaser, but I would rather not have this product reproduced to find out. I'll stick to soda or Hawaiian Punch. Thanks.

3) Colgate Kitchen Entrees: I shouldn't even have to explain why this was a bad idea. On the toothpaste container it says to call the Poison Control Center if you ingest. Who thought that voluntarily eating it was a good idea? I don't know, but I will give $1000 to anyone who finds out and punches him/her.

4) NASCAR Romantic Novels: Nothing is romantic about NASCAR. Nothing. Unless you are a 60-year-old from Arkansas who is married to her cousin.

Roscoe Jenkins- Master Chef

Tonight for staff we decided to have a potluck grill out. Everyone brought their own meat to be grilled, as well as one dish to share with everyone. I was super excited because I found this recipe that I have wanted to try for awhile and I decided to make it for the grillout. I am not much of a cook so I was nervous about it tasting good, but everyone loved it, so I was excited and very proud of myself. I may have to consider a career change. Only not really. It's fairly simple (if I can make it, anyone can). Check out the pictures below along with the recipe. Try it and take your taste buds for a ride!

*Le Ingredients: Olive oil, Mayo, Parmesan Cheese, Adobo Seasoning (or whatever kind of seasoning you like for chicken, but I highly recommend Adobo (you can find it in the Hispanic food aisle)), Chicken the recipe called for 4 chicken breasts (I used chicken tenders because they were on sale), Broccoli Florets, Pepper, Salt, Noodles (bow tie or penne work best), and Garlic (not seasoning)*

* Awful picture, but it's the noodles and broccoli cooking. The noodles are supposed to be al dente, which takes about 10 minutes. The last few minutes, add the broccoli. If it's frozen broccoli florets, it should cook a little longer. I should add that this is supposed to be done in a dutch oven (not that kind of dutch oven), but I didn't have one. I just used a large pot and it worked fine. I used a 12 oz box of noodles and about 3 cups of broccoli, which is what the recipe called for. Using more or less is up to you. After draining, return to the pan*

* The chicken cooking. The recipe called for 4 chicken breasts. Like I said, I used chicken tenders because they were on sale so I pretty much just eyed it. Again, it's up to you if you want to add more or less. Coat the chicken in the Adobo seasoning, salt and pepper. Before adding the chicken to the pan, heat 2 tablespoons olive oil then add about 2 gloves of minced garlic. Heat for about 30 seconds and then add the chicken. Cook chicken all the way through. Dice it up into bite size pieces. This can be done before cooking the chicken. It doesn't really matter.*

* With the heat on low, mix in the chicken, about 1/4-1/2 cup of mayo (again, adding more or less depending on your taste), salt and pepper into the pot with the noodles and broccoli. Heat until it's heated through*

*Put in a mix bowl, top with shredded Parmesan cheese and enjoy! :) *

*Some people need a beer when they cook. I need Diet Coke*

Not that anyone cares or anything...

I apologize for the lack of updates (not like a ton of people read this, but whatever), but I have been insanely busy with work. Yes, work. I am working this summer at school as a conference assistant, meaning I am basically an RA for any camps or conferences that stay in my building. It's a cool gig. I am excited to see how the school runs during the summer. I am not excited that my building will be full of middle school boys in a couple weeks. I hope they aren't too bad...if they are, I will fine the heck out of them...don't think I won't. 

The past couple of weeks, I have been filled with CA training. It's like RA training only less intense and I am responsible for a lot more things (ie an entire building). I love my staff. We all seem to mesh pretty well. I was nervous because we have a few really strong personalities and I thought that they were going to clash. It's been a lot of fun and I am excited to see what the summer is going to bring. 

I feel like I should fill this post with something random. So here it is. A good friend of mine sent me this link and I find it hilarious. I love mistranslated things or things that are translated directly from another language to English and make NO sense in English. This website is FULL of them. I am not making fun of these languages in any way. Chances are that translation from the English language to their language is just as hilarious. So just enjoy it and don't read too much into my actions. I am very easily amused and have a fairly simple (most of the time) mind. 

http://www.engrish.com/

Top 10 signs you are a resident assistant/advisor

For the past 2 years I have been a resident assistant/advisor. Having pretty much made this job my life in the last 2 years, I feel like I have enough experience to make this list. Now, in David Letterman fashion, I present to you the Top 10 Signs that you are a Resident Assistant/Advisor:

10) Thursday is your least favorite day of the week.

9) You can name more ice breakers than state capitals  

8) It's not unusual for you to be working until at least 5 AM on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night

7) You can't pass a fire extinguisher without looking to see if it's in the green

6) You forgot what a pronoun is and have stopped using them all together

5) Every time you hear a police or ambulance siren, you think to yourself "please don't be going to my building"

4) You have fallen asleep in your 8 AM class because you were up until 4 AM handling an incident

3) You spend more time on door decs and your bulletin board than you do on your homework

2) Your friends have ever contacted you wanted "RA advice" in dealing with a friend or roommate issues

1) You have told your sibling, dog, cat, or hamster to be quiet because it's quiet hours

Learn some manners and go back to grade school...

I have a ridiculously long list of pet peeves. On more than a few occasions during the day I have been known to call people jerks or jackasses among other things (all under my breath of course; I don't think that I could say something like that to someone's face, no matter how much they irritate me) because they do something that annoys me. It's also at the point of the year when I want to punch everyone in the face, no matter how small the act that they do or don't do is. For your safety, read below because if you commit any of these crimes around me, I may have to show you my mean right hook.

1) People who don't say thank you when you hold the door open for them. This is especially annoying if have to hold the door for more than 10 seconds. I don't care if I have my iPod on or not, I will still know if you say thank you or not. Those 2 words are not that difficult to say or it brightens my day when I do hear it. It's ridiculously rude and I will probably slam the door in your face next time I see you.

2) People who don't hold the door open for you even though you are right behind them. I have a thing with doors. I don't expect someone to run to a door an open it for me, that's ridiculous and would probably be more annoying to me than anything. I do, however, expect someone who is walking in front of me to hold the door open. It's just common courtesy. All I am asking for is the simple, walk in before me, hold the door open with your arm move (I have no idea if that made any sense. It does in my head, so I am going to pretend that it makes sense in your head too). 

3) Poor Grammar. This is definitely true when it comes to using possessive vs. contraction. It's not that difficult to understand "your" refers to something that belongs to you and "you're" means "you are". Get it right. Especially college students. How in the heck did you get here in the first place? I understand if you aren't good at english; I suck at math. However, I think that you can figure out the difference between simple things like that. 

4) People who do things solely for the sake of attention. I have noticed this more than a lot lately. Certain people like to cause drama because there is nothing better going on in their lives. The world does not revolve around you. Get over yourself, you aren't that great.

5) People who twist things to make it something they aren't. This could go with the above pet peeve, however, it deserves it's own place on the list. The biggest thing that bothers me related to this category is when girls over analyze everything guys do. Maybe I am not your typical girl because I don't do that and maybe that's why it bothers me when girls do it. It's even worse when girls continue to analyze things even though they have talked about it with the guy and they decided they are just friends. Refer to the previous item on the list to see why that bothers me.

I know that there are many more to add to this list, I just can't think of them right now. I will add them when I think of them*

Stay tuned for pictures from this past weekend!

*not that anyone reads this thing, I just like to tell myself people do.

She's Back...

For the first time since Jan 26, I saw one of my favorite people in the entire world. She returned from her secret work in several secret locations and I am beyond excited. This weekend will consist of lots of catching up and lots of weird, random conversations. 

Stay tuned. Pictures will soon follow.