7.07.2010

Humbling moments

I was on the bus today on the way to work. I was listening to music and reading my book, minding my own business and the lady 2 seats in front of me turned around and motioned for me to take out my ear phones. I did and she said this to me, "could you bless me with some food?" I felt a sudden rush of guilt. She reminded me of a sweet grandma and I wanted to help her out so badly. I had no cash on me. If I did, I would have happily given her some money for food. I was hoping she was getting off at Rosedale so I could at least buy her something. Looking back on it, I should have asked her to stop at Rosedale with me so I could buy her something before going to work. I only hope our paths can cross again so I can help her out next time. I am not sure why. Homeless people have asked for money before. If I have a couple bucks to spare, I usually do; when I don't have cash, I feel bad, but it never makes me feel as guilty as I did today.  All she wanted was something to eat. She wasn't asking for a steak dinner, just something simple and I couldn't give her that. I almost cried and I am almost crying again just thinking about it.

When I was on my dinner break at work, I again felt a rush of guilt. Here I was paying for a meal with no trouble and that poor woman has to beg for money for something small to eat. It can't make her feel proud to do that. I am sure that that's not how she imagined her life to be like; no one does.

It's because of her that I decided I am alway going to carry a few extra bucks just in case something like this happens again. I am not the most religious person, but I couldn't help saying a prayer for her. It's not much, but it's something. I hope that I see her again and next time I can give her some money for food.

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Events happen because they are meant to teach you something. The smallest things can have the biggest impact on your life.

2 comments:

  1. You're more optimistic than me Tracy. Whenever people ask me for food or money, I just turn them down. I figure they are just begging and giving them money is just going to keep them on the street longer. I guess when I get approached by the same person more than once with the same story, I get a little cynical.

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  2. I am usually an optimist. I just always feel bad for them. I know there are some homeless people that do take advantage of the money given to them. I also think there are some that really have no other option and they have to beg. I could tell that this lady didn't want to ask for money, but she had no other choice. I guess I just put myself in their shoes.

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