Channing Tatum got married. My life is over!

Disclaimer: the title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the content of the post, but I just said it out loud and I couldn't think of a more clever title.

I recently ordered and iPod Touch. Something I am very excited about and I can't wait to use it. I feel that my life will feel a little more complete with it. Thank you, materialism. I decided to track the package online because I wanted to see when it's supposed to arrive. 

What follows is quite possibly the most confusing and illogical thing I have ever seen in my life. Proceed with caution and don't say that I didn't warn you.